Let's Talk Self Love

There are at least two types of self love, but we are going to focus on the less scandalous version today. Know that phrase, "easier said than done"? Self love is the epitome of that. As much as it seems like it sometimes, this is not a problem limited to fat girls. Women of all sizes battle with their appearance or personality traits that seem less than ideal and though it may be less prevalent in men, they do it too.

Self love is a humanity issue. Understanding that is the first step towards being kinder to yourself. You are not the only one facing it so that lonely feeling can feel a little lighter. You arent the only fat girl; there are millions of resources on how to lose weight. You arent the only girl with small breasts; augmentations are one of the most popular types of surgery. You arent the only girl with dark facial hair; waxing salons and laser hair removal are on every corner. Find solace in the fact that in a world of billions, you will never be alone in any "imperfection."

Actively pursue things that make you happy. When you know what you like and you make sure to treat yourself to those things occasionally you start to realize that you are worth being happy. It is easy to not do. Sometimes money is tight, sometimes family or a busy schedule take priority or even something just being new and scary can prevent it. Don't let those things stop you. Learn to say no to things you dont like and say yes to what you do. When you know yourself and set boundaries,  you empower yourself.

My biggest issue with learning to love myself was that I had put too much weight on other people's opinions of me for too long. I wanted so badly for everyone to like me that I did everything in my power to make them happy. When I realized it wasn't working, I was very angry towards myself and others. Turns out I was putting work into the wrong person. I mentioned in one of my past talks about how everyone has an opinion. It took a long time to really start believing that their opinion didnt matter so long as I was happy and wasnt hurting anyone. People will always have something to say and a lot of what they have something to say about will be none of their damn business. Realize that you hold your own happiness and nobody can take that away without you letting them.

I wont sit here and say once you reach this point, you'll never be hurt by any of it again, because that's simply not true. Words do hurt and it will still sting when someone hits a sore spot- but having the right thought process after is what counts. I always ask myself first if what they said reflects more about themselves than it ever had to do with me. Are they just having a bad day?  Next I think about if what they said was worth being upset about. Will the world crumble if I have a little bit of a mustache? No.  Finally I ask myself if I took that one trait away, would I be perfect? Absolutely not. Sorry, Beyonce, not even you are truly flawless. When you practice putting things in perspective, it will eventually come naturally.

Self love is a pretty complex idea. It is a weird balance of standing up for yourself and not feeling the need to stand up for yourself. I think it is truly one of the hardest things for us humans to figure out so if you have good days and bad days, thats okay as long as youre moving in the right direction.