It's Not Vanity

Ive had this post started for a while, but couldn't figure out how I wanted to set it up but then the male and I were watching one of our YouTube channels (JustKiddingNews, if you're curious) and it spurred a healthy debate and in turn, me finishing this post.

It was about the Dove campaign, #choosebeautiful, and we all know how I loveeee that campaign. I talked about it before so I wont go too far into it, but one of the JKNews guys made a comment about vanity in relation to choosing beautiful. That struck a nerve for me. I'm called out sometimes on my vanity. Looking in mirrors, saying out loud that I look nice that day, spending lots of time on my hair, makeup or clothes... always something. My best friend teases me about it, the male teases me about it and its all in good fun but it always makes me question a few things in the back of my mind.


The main issue I have with these types of comments is that although they aren't meant with ill intentions, they really do take a huge bite out of all the self love work someone has done. If someone feels beautiful that day, why take that away from them simply because you might disagree? It probably took 6-600 bad days to have that one good day. You know how you feel when you wake up with good hair, your jeans fit perfectly and makeup is on point? Let the person have their own.


We went out to watch the fight the other night and I literally spent 2 hours getting ready, an hour of that on makeup. Why? Because I enjoy it. Getting dressed up and doing my makeup is soothing to me. The end result of looking in the mirror and appreciating the art of what I have just accomplished is a little bit of a high and I want to walk around fluttering my perfectly applied fake lashes because that ish is hard and I overcame the challenge! I have just fought the battle of lash mountain and have come out victorious! I shall wave my lash flag and be proud!

I'm a tactile person, it has been called high maintenance, but I disagree. (Because of course I do.) I enjoy surrounding myself with things I find pleasing, it soothes me and my anxieties. When I have finished my routine, I have picked a smell that is pleasing to me, I have finished my hair to where it is soft and feels good to run my fingers through, my makeup is perfectly blended and accentuates what I find most pleasing on my face and everything about me is what makes me feel beautiful. When I feel beautiful, I feel like I can change the world. I have a hard time finding whats so negative about that.

The definition of vanity is:

1.excessive pride in one's appearance, qualities, abilities, achievements, etc.; character or quality of being vain; conceit:

...

4.

lack of real value; hollowness; worthlessness:

the vanity of a selfish life.

Women have dealt with the constant struggle of having confidence, but not showing their confidence in order to not threaten the man (or other females) for centuries. We have started to change that, but as long as we keep telling each other that we "lack any real value" because we feel beautiful, or that we should only feel as beautiful as others deem appropriate, we will never make any real progress. I've only hit the topic of physical beauty today, but know that it extends to every other aspect of yourself. Your intelligence, your steadfastness, your perseverance... those things are yours, and they are also what makes you beautiful- own it, love it and be it!

When you love yourself, you aren't selfish. You aren't vain, you aren't hollow. You are human and you deserve to be proud of yourself for overcoming hundreds of years of hearing that you can be pretty, but you cant be too pretty. You're overcoming everything that says that you can be smart but not too smart. Stepping outside of those bounds is the ultimate freedom and there will always be someone questioning what they don't understand.

Sometimes the only person that is going to tell you how beautiful you are is you. If you need to hear it, say it. Whether you believe it or not, that's also from whom it means the most.