All American Skin

My 4th of July celebration was alllll day and Id say I dont even want to look at something bbq'd again, but I'd be lying. BBQ is on point and thats probably why I'm fat. We drove an hour east and started off at a friend's house swimming and eating then headed another hour east to go to my parent's house and the firework display the community puts on.

I left the pool party and changed into the above outfit. White pants, black lace top with my bra under. It was cool, I was covered for the most part and most importantly it was what I wanted to wear. Nobody really gave me too much of a hard time about it, though I got a few questions and a few more stares. My sister, who is most certainly more conservative than I am asked if I was just wearing a bra under my shirt and seemed surprised when I said yes. My niece who is no more than 10, got on to me for showing too much skin. A few other people did an extra look or two, but I didn't get anything that made me feel super uncomfortable.

It brought on a couple questions for me.

1.) Why was my bralette under a crop top more acceptable even though it only covered an inch or two more skin?
2.) Even though I'm literally 85% covered, was I really showing too much skin?

I do understand the idea of appropriateness. I understand that it changes according to circumstance. I would not go to work in a lace top and my bra. I also know that it takes at least a few years for people that far out in the country to adjust to what is already acceptable in the city. Surely sitting in a pasture in the back of a truck waiting for fireworks didn't call for business casual. All the quantifiers aside, I knew the answer.

It was because I was fat.

People expect fat girls to cover themselves, so much in fact that my young niece felt it was appropriate to point out I shouldn't be dressed like that.  I was a little conflicted at first- was I setting a bad example for the younger girls? Then I thought- wrong answer. If I'm living in a world where people are shocked by me showing my skin through a full lace top then that idea needs to be challenged.

If it is about "too revealing" or "too sexy" then we need to examine why society has sexualized women so much that they cant show their tummy or back without eliciting a response from men.  If it is because I'm fat and nobody wants to see it well, then we need to examine why we are assigning blame to someone for being something we don't like.

Although my niece is a stick thin little thing for now, I have another about the same age that is not and she is already very conscious of her size. I don't want either of them to grow up in a world that they feel they must cover themselves completely to keep from feeling shamed.  I want my example to be exactly what I was showing: I can be happy (not to mention cooler on a 96 degree evening) without having to worry about showing more than what people are comfortable with.