Its a huge task. Easily said, much harder in practice. I still find myself in a position of taking blame and devaluing my own accomplishments. I've always been the "scapegoat". It started when I was very young and my family was trying to find a reason for their dysfunction. I've been the scapegoat in many of my relationships and I'm certainly the scapegoat at work now and have been in the past.
With a history like that, I have to realize that there is a reason and the constant in all of those scenarios is me. Now, keep in mind that doesnt give anyone the right to treat me that way but I have to acknowledge that people treat you the way you allow. I consistently put myself in a position of challenging the status quo. I find potential in situations that are not ready to change. I'm a people pleaser. I want others to like me but more importantly I want them to like for themselves what I see in them. It is my weakness but also one of my greatest strengths. I'm trucking along and then all of a sudden one day someone says something that triggers a real thought and I stop and think- wait a second... I've done it again. Then I have to work my way back out because I've gone so far in trying to get the other person where I think they should be that I've lost what makes me happy. I have valued them more than I value myself. Its an ongoing learning process for me but I'm getting there.
Why do I bring that up? Well, when I sit here and blog from behind a computer you guys each get your own meaning from it. If all I give you is a preachy "love yourself" "be body positive" script over and over it is easy to get frustrated with the fact that you may not be there or you're not confident all the time or you still have bad days. I think its incredibly important to be transparent with you. I'm not 100% there all the time either. If you have flaws it doesn't mean you aren't worthy.
I'll say it again for those in the back- if you have flaws, it doesnt mean you arent worthy.
We are our own worst critics so it is likely that you know better than anyone what your weaknesses are. The best part about weaknesses, or flaws, is that they are often what makes you uniquely and perfectly you. You dont have to use them as a barrier. You dont have to use them as an excuse for why you cant do something. When something holds that much power over you, imagine the change you could make if you used them for something good.
In a society that tells women, especially plus size women, that they arent good enough constantly you have to be your own champion. When you find yourself in a situation where you feel devalued, you have to remember all the good things about yourself so you have the strength to get out. Remember how smart you are, how much you like your lips, how great your ass looks in those jeans today... find anything and build from there. Even if its just not feeling like you deserve that pedicure or trying on that dress thats a little more expensive- youre worth it.. flaws and all.
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